good for a laugh

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand 

before marriage, it is love; 

after marriage it is self defense. 

There is truth in every joke in my case. I am guilty of spousal abuse. I once slapped Jim straight in the face during a game of Catch Phrase if I remember right. He was sitting next to me, but unfortunately for him , on the opposing team. He flinched for years after that.

here are a few more "amusing" thoughts for your weekend……

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes. 


Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. 


Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent


 I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always. 


 It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer


Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible


WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway
light on.


A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE

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to continue SMILING check out

 the Spring Sale @ Pursenickety here

" Wife" is a moving target

As a newly-wed 20 year old wifey 

I was ridiculously naive. 

( I was actually a bit ashamed of being only 20 when I got hitched,

 but alas I was in love & had to LOCK HIM DOWN asap. )

We would be the most knowledgeable well equipped couple this side of the Colorado.  picture this….I had it all set up, on each of our matching nightstands, next to our bed fit with hand-made bedspread & shams made by yours truly, sat a matching pair of books entitled "His Needs, Her Needs. 

No, I didnt purchase this book, like most Mormon couples I know, we received it and other monstrosities similar titles by the droves as wedding gifts.

I pictured us reading it together, comparing notes and having  enlightening conversations into the wee hours of the night.

well, Jim's book began to collect dust. Sadly my reading  lamp didn't disturb my sleeping husband. He was out as soon as his head hit the pillow. When I confronted him about my dashed dreams, Jim sweetly replied. "Babe, I love you. Why don't you just tell me what you need , and I'll do it"

And I did. 

What Jim didn't know is that I am an ever evolving creature. He probably could have saved time by reading the book. Now I feel entitled…no obligated to keep Jim up-to-date on all my needs. Poor guy, I really am a moving target. There was a time when him doing the dishes meant the world to me, until I realized he did them better than I did. Our dishwasher looked like a well played game of Tetris when he was through.

Then there were the days that I just needed a good hug, a hot kiss and someone to tell me how irresistible I am.

Now-a-days my needs are met with a pint of Chunky Monkey and a few hours of sleep wile my always attentive well intentioned hubby feeds, burps & diapers our new baby boy. 

And as Jim always says…and sometimes Miranda too…..give the baby her bottle.

Bitter & Breastfeeding

If you think breastfeeding is a beautiful bonding experience your nutz!! You probably also have your babies all natural! (gasp)

Im the type of girl that likes a good needle in the back please.

But theres nothing beautiful about my mammary masterpiece right now. If my baby feeding bosoms were a paint by number kit, the colors would include-

- scabby brown

- bloody blister red

-  rubbed raw pink

Yet I endure… for 3 reasons-

#1 I feel guilty giving up,as a mom I feel like I should love it & it should come natural

#2 Im terrified of my little guy getting sick & I want to pump him full of my anti-bodies

#3 Im to cheap & poor to buy formula

As far as Im concerned breastfeeding 

can  be summed up in one British phrase

"Bloody Hell" 

That's right, I said it.

free!!!

my gal Lyndsey @ Better After is

 hosting an awesome giveaway.

 Basically its $50 GC to anywhere you like!!!!(almost) 

Jim & I live off of GC's year round. It might seem impersonal, but its my favorite gift! Then not only do we get something new & spiffy, but we get to shop for it! ( I like shopping) And it supplements us with date nights!

I would choose a Marshal's or TJ MAX GC (even though I have 2 $25 marshals GC's in my purse right now. Target would be my dream (how sad & boring huh?)…I use to have a real Target problem…and I would love to re-live those frivolous days. And movie GC's are always nice, especially in the summer when the only thing that sounds nice is sitting in a dark air conditioned room for 2 hours with my hubby.

What would you choose?

hurry….the giveaway ends MONDAY!!! (sorry for the late notice )

check it out here

Thanks!!!

 to all my family & friends..you rock! Thanks for all the dinners, the flowers, the goodies for my kids, for beloved chocolate & strawberry milk( grandma),for muffins,and last but not least- for the copious amounts of leftovers that will get me through the month with-out cooking a stitch!