As a newly-wed 20 year old wifey
I was ridiculously naive.
( I was actually a bit ashamed of being only 20 when I got hitched,
but alas I was in love & had to LOCK HIM DOWN asap. )
We would be the most knowledgeable well equipped couple this side of the Colorado. picture this….I had it all set up, on each of our matching nightstands, next to our bed fit with hand-made bedspread & shams made by yours truly, sat a matching pair of books entitled "His Needs, Her Needs.
No, I didnt purchase this book, like most Mormon couples I know, we received it and other monstrosities similar titles by the droves as wedding gifts.
I pictured us reading it together, comparing notes and having enlightening conversations into the wee hours of the night.
well, Jim's book began to collect dust. Sadly my reading lamp didn't disturb my sleeping husband. He was out as soon as his head hit the pillow. When I confronted him about my dashed dreams, Jim sweetly replied. "Babe, I love you. Why don't you just tell me what you need , and I'll do it"
And I did.
What Jim didn't know is that I am an ever evolving creature. He probably could have saved time by reading the book. Now I feel entitled…no obligated to keep Jim up-to-date on all my needs. Poor guy, I really am a moving target. There was a time when him doing the dishes meant the world to me, until I realized he did them better than I did. Our dishwasher looked like a well played game of Tetris when he was through.
Then there were the days that I just needed a good hug, a hot kiss and someone to tell me how irresistible I am.
Now-a-days my needs are met with a pint of Chunky Monkey and a few hours of sleep wile my always attentive well intentioned hubby feeds, burps & diapers our new baby boy.
And as Jim always says…and sometimes Miranda too…..give the baby her bottle.
Yes yes, to keep Jim sane PLEASE give the baby her bottle! And ps those books are a joke.I read them and laughed the entire time.
ReplyDeleteMiranda
try john bytheway's "behind every good man." i got a headache after all of that eye-rolling.
ReplyDeletewhat a good answer, though, and good for you for telling him what you need. i like to play mind games with Frankie and that way, he is always in the dog-house. i'm a real catch.
and in reference to your post about breast feeding, i say amen to your bloody hell. Darby was brutal with her bites, adding a turn-and-tear head-jerk at the end. i'd have to lovingly force my finger between her gums to get her to release. and then she straight quit at 6 months. so, i've never been able to even pretend to be a good mother. i do try, though. well, i no longer try nursing (i mean, she's almost 5 and that would be creepy), i just mean that i take her to the dentist regularly and bathe her. that's how i make myself feel like an adequate mother.
wait, what were we talking about?
Dear John…..bytheway you suck. too harsh?
ReplyDelete