the name game

so I'm just assuming that we all understand the meaning of my blog's name…But my 8th grade Algebra teacher once told me "Assumptions make an Ass out of you." (words of wisdom ,thanks Ms. Howardell)And  ass I am not.

Explanation :

Far to often the blogs I come across are un-real to me. Sometimes that does makes them interesting to read, because they are almost fiction. I understand that people don't post (for the most part) the messy ,crappy, boring parts of their life. But it seems blogs have become a place to create an imaginary picture perfect life style to portray to the world. I'm over it. Ive heard the gals say that after partaking in daily reading of these blogs they feel empty & insufficient. Now maybe some of these blog authors really are picture perfect(unlikely) in which case the sin of envy and jealousy is ours.

 But enough is enough.

 I wanted a blog that was real. And that is my life, peanut butter & jelly on paper plates, price matching @ Walmart, wearing my jammies all day… for days at a time, and getting away with wearing yesterdays make-up because Im happy if I get a minute to brush my teeth before noon let alone do my hair & make-up(scoff).  I just hope the blog doesn't get too cynical , I have been known to be a Debby Downer. (Jim calls me Negative Nelly) I know I live a pretty charmed life compared to 75% of this worlds population.

 But Im no Stepford wife,

and I wont pretend to be one.

Its fun to take a stand for something as meaningless as blogging :) maybe I should quit typing, go brush my teeth and make a meaningfull contribution to humanity today. 

But I have to be done by 2:00 because reruns of House Wives of Orange County is on.

April Showers

book barter???

lets state the facts-

i love a good read

i hate spending money

i hate clutter & piles

in conclusion I propose a book barter

Ive got these two praise worthy reads  that Im finished with, and are now being used as coasters/paper weights…oh the humanity. Please save them from an unfulfilled future and trade me for an equally interesting, though not painfully difficult read. As stated: I dont like keeping books after Ive read them, so if you just cant permanently part with your book, I can return it when I'm done. Or I will just continue to barter  through my blog.

click here to read the review

click here to read the review

Who's Up For A Trade?

you know its bad when...

OK

Is it just me?

Is anyone else concerned and disgusted with the widely accepted and horrifyingly graphic phrase sweeping the nation and the pure lips of otherwise soft spoken gals?

What phrase you might be asking yourself?

HOT MESS

What type of bodily fluid enriched sight are we referring to when selecting this adjective?
I think there are just a few possibilities, none of which I would like to be specific about.
What kind of respectable woman uses this phrase?

Oh, well if Wendy Williams says it I will most certainly not be saying it, 

its a safe rule to live by.

Dont get me wrong, I dont have an honorable verbal past, Ive been known to make a sailor or two blush. But i try and stick strictly to Bible Cuss Words…you know,

 the ones in the good book like (ear muffs) hell /damn /ass.

And I guess I DO use other suggestive slang's like "that sucks/ that blows" 

but I guess the moral of this long winded self righteous post is……

you know its bad when I'M OFFENDED!!

baby bounce back

I kept telling myself…Oh after I have this baby I cant wait to cut my hair, start working out, thrifting for some new threads…Oh the joys of having my body back to myself!

except that simply giving birth doesn't give you your body back MYLA…it most likely doesnt ever REALLY go back. For example Im pretty sure my belly button used to be about 4 inches higher, along with most other body parts.

Now I am grateful for my zero stretch marks, thanks Mom & your amazing genetics. But what about this jello mold encompassing my body, only Bill Cosby could love its jiggle.

And so your thinking, hey get off your butt and stop complaining & start exercising then.

When?

Im living off of 4 un-consecutive hours of sleep. Any extra energy I have gets devoted to rummaging through my ill equipped cupboards for anything containing chocolate…ANYTHING PLEASE!!!

And after "virtually" trying on pixie haircuts and being terrified of what I found ( umm, I forgot about my ears) Ive decided that as for now my locks provide a great curtain.

But I know that caring for this little bundle known as Elliot along with the other 2 monsters roaming my home is a good worthy venture.

Ninon de Lenclos once said " That which is striking and beautiful is not always good; but that which is good is always beautiful"

deep and timeless truth right????

Except, she was ugly? So was she just trying to make herself feel better?

(oh did I just say that. Im awful. good thing shes dead and cant get offended. Im pretty sure Im going to hell, it official. also is it just me, or did people look in-bred back then?)

Wacky Wednesday

 If youve got little mouths & sticky fingers at home, you know that a "picnic" has nothing to do with  the lovely weather, fancy finger foods, or leisurely eating wile enjoying each others company. When I declare "lets have a Picnic today" it just means I finally got the kitchen clean and theres no way Im feeding you ruffians on that shinny, sanitized table.

Wednesdays are also great excuses for the ever forsaken FAST FOOD. Sonic on University & Country Club(ish) has Wacky Packs for 1.99 all day. Also if your feeling adventurous or in need of a good cleanse Filberto's has Bean Burritos for $1 on Main & Stapley(ish).

have you seen chubbier cheeks?

oh, wait these cheeks are pretty close

multi-tasking

My new found(created) freedom

 One of the many projects we took on before the Historic Home Tour was tranforming Jim's leather bound Man Den into a bright & cheery play/craft/computer room. Basically the whole shabang was done with spray paint, hot glue and a lil' elbow grease.

we shelled out real cash @ Cosco for this retro pink kitchen back in the "we only have one kid, lets spoil her" days.

this was a great Goodwill 50% off Saturday find. Jim cut off the legs to make the chairs & table kiddo friendly 

this little cabinent was $20 on Craigs List. It was hideous, but It had  tons of toy storage and easy open drawers. A little spray paint & chevron stripes & I was in love.

my framed art  is a bird watching calender we got from an insurance salesman. together with $.50 frames from DI and we've got some ever popular bird art

my kids love the clothes line we've got up to display their  papers. just twine & clothes pins fron the dollar store  hung from two nails hiding behind these happy knobs from Hobby Lobby my hillariouse friend Hillary gave me

This monster of a desk was $1 on goodwill's thursday sale. Im just happy its not sitting in my carport anymore.
And my awsome Stendig calender was a splurge for me @ $32.95. i guess they are a big deal & hard to come by. Ladies @ Crate & Barrel have been known to squabble over them.

my oversized chalkboard still gives my butterflies! I scored this for FREE at our lovely neighborhood  Swap

Now my kids and I co-exist in harmony as I google and they play.